Father Tim and my Husband

[Carol C.]

Father Tim and my husband are a lot alike in the fact that they were so afraid to make a commitment. I fell in love with my husband the minute I met him. He on the other hand, took 7 years to figure it out. We date on a off over the 7 years but he was just too afraid to commit. So, once I moved to MD, where he had already moved to from NC we went through this awful snow storm in 1996 and I was stuck in this little apartment (probably 700 square feet) for a week with no way to go anywhere. I mean I cooked everything in the place and my boyfriend lived an hour from me so I could not even see him. Anyway, after that I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) "you either make up your mind what you want or I'm moving back to NC where people are friendly and I at least know my neighbors". Well, I had my diamond the next weekend. We have been married almost 7 years now. From my previous message you will have seen that I have 5 kids from 4-18. Well, we adopted all 5 of them from Russia. 3 of them in 1999 and 2 in 2001. It has been a wonderful, stressful, exciting experience. I am not sure I was ready for the "teenage" thing, but we are getting a handle on it. Man are things different then when I was a teenager.

Well, just wanted to share my experience with the husband that could not make up his mind.

Carol C.

[Ivani]

Oh, Carol, it was lovely to get to know your husband a little bit -- and how you fixed him
on the commitment subject! Thanks for sharing,
it´s touching to know you adopted 5 kids, not babies. Girl, you must have a lot to tell us
on your experience!
My husband was very shy too -- and I was
terribly reserved -- so it took us a good time
to "go steady" like Father Tim and Cynthia, hehehe. And it was a struggle deciding when to live under the same roof! I had almost forgotten
all that.
Thanks for sharing your history with us. And please tell us more about the kids, when you have
a minute, 5 children of those ages must
keep you busy all the time. ;)
Blessings and hugs,
Ivani

[ 12-17-2002, 06:33 PM: Message edited by: Ivani ]

[Carol C.]

Ivani

My kids are a true blessing to me and my husband. It has definitely been an experience going from 0 kids to 5 in less then 3 years, 4 of them being teenagers that did not speak our language. The first 3 we adopted, I went through a really bad depression after we got home, sort of like post partum stress I guess you could call it. I am starting to believe they should rename that to "Life Change". After having all the time in the world on my hands to do what I wanted when I wanted to having 3 kids (our baby was malnourished when we got him weighing 13 pounds at 19 months) it was quit a shock to me. I went to my doctor crying as I was doing every day and said "what is wrong with me. I am suppose to be happy and I hate my life right now". He looked at me and said "my goodness Carol, look what you have just done. You adopted a baby that is malnourished, and two teenagers who are hormonal to begin with and adapting to their new environment and who don't speak your language. You need to not try to be the perfect mom". Well, once I went on some depression meds for about 3 months I was fine. Now I am use to NEVER having any time for myself and I love it. I did not experience the depression the second time around because I was use to giving up my time. My kids are wonderful. Our oldest is so beautiful and very exotic looking. She is part TarTar with high cheekbones, etc. She is very shy but has a killer smile that lights the room when she walks in. My next to the oldest is my social butterfly. She is a cheerleader, a fantastic and I mean a God given talent artist. She and I are very close and she is so appreciative for everything she has. On of our newest additions is my hardheaded, stubborn as a mule child. I am still adjusting to her (she has only been here a year). I just can't seem to get close to her like I did the others and I feel bad about that but I am praying about it and we are working on it. My oldest son is so into sports. He plays on a travel soccer team and plays baseball. He is so sweet and just needs to have love, especially of a mommy. The baby, the little malnourished baby is now 4. He is so smart and has more energy then the space shuttle. I am exhausted at night but it is worth it. He is at the correct height and weight for his age. I am convinced that the reason he was not thriving in the orphanage is because he is one of these kids that has to have attention which he was not getting in Russia. The caregivers do the best they can but with 130+ babies to care for, it is very difficult for them to "love" all of the kids.

I don't usually like to put things on the net about my kids and I did not mention their names because I don't want to invade their privacy, but I think that my new CyberMitford friends are o.k.
They are pretty sensitive about being adopted so I try not to use their names if I don't have to. Hope you all understand.

So, that is our life with the kids. I do teach sewing classes in my basement 4 nights a week so I get a little break from them doing that, something I just love to do.

Well, I must go. I have tons of stuff to do as my hubby is FINALLY coming home from Japan tomorrow. We are so excited. Christmas can now begin for us

Thanks for being interested in my kids and I am so glad to have found a site with such wonderful caring people on it. God Bless all of you.

Carol C

[Ivani]

Dear Carol,
Thank you for your reply. I´m touched, you´re my
ideal of a Christian. It´s so impressive, you
talk about not only the flowers but on the thorns also.
Hey, tell us, how do you manage to take time out for those sewing classes? With your husband travelling? Girl,how I admire you!
I think your post came in the most appropriate
time of the year, you´re included in my gratitude
list. Thank you, Lord, for placing angels like
Carol C. and her husband among us.
With blessings and hugs,
Ivani

[Pastor JohnR]

Carol:

Please check my post under Father Tim.

God bless PJ